is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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