2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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