Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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