its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize