you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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