you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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