the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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