mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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