i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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