So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
