She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
