He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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