And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I want to fling myself into the sun
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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