I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
