Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
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Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
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It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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