I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
