I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
