You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
