Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
