oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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