Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
