My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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