A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize