i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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