If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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