Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
