I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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