So drunk its hurt
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
