There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
