People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have post one night stand depression
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