i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
