they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
