Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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