I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
