apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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