New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
