he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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