you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love having hate sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
