were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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