i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
