I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
