He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
