I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
