You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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