just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Drunk is not a location!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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