I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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