he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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