I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize