You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
