genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
