i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
