she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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