I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize