I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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