i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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